Life seems to follow wherever you roam. New adventures always come accompanied by you and usually a few other flawed humans – which usually means that this grand new journey that you have set out on will become somewhat flawed as well. At least a bit skewed from what you were expecting.
I have been terrible lately at recording some of my thoughts and days and I think it is the same as a friend has described – life has become so very full of the doing, the being has not had time to catch up.
In these last two months of this new chapter, life has been full to the brim of the unexpected, the planned, hopes and dreams starting to become fulfilled, desires and wishes dashed or delayed, closeness and distance, and everything in between. All in all, very full.
There have been definite moments when my brain and heart are screaming out, “Why the heck are you here?!?” But overall, there have been so many confirmations that here is exactly where I am supposed to be. I may not understand it all, but I have a very good God who is lovingly guiding me.
One of these confirmations and blessings came yesterday evening as I was making dinner. Our back door opened and in stepped a vessel of God in the form of one of the volunteers at the ranch. She was carrying a box of bulk groceries from Costco – and the additional boxes were overflowing in the back of her car. She knew the three of us girls who have recently moved into this house are all living on shoestring budgets (the beauty of working for a non-profit ministry) and just wanted to bless us by bringing us a housewarming gift.
Not only could she not have known how perfect every item of food was for us, she also didn’t know the tension that grocery shopping has been lately. (I’ve been learning how ‘interesting’ it can be to live with someone who has just moved out for this first time.)
I stood there speechless as the food kept coming and coming – I couldn’t do anything but laugh. It was just one more way that God was telling me, “Look, I’ve got you – I know every concern and detail and am working everything together for good. Just be patient and trust wholly in me.”
The adventures will continue and life will inevitably be joyous and frustrating, but as this chapter’s introduction is being penned, I’m continuing to learn the life-long lesson of complete trust in such a faithful God.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
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