Peace in the In-Between

I should be fired as a blogger. Seriously. Oh well, for those who might actually stumbled upon this, or happen to give me one last chance on an update… here it is.

This past year has been a doozy, in all sorts of good and ‘challenging’ ways. I wouldn’t call the difficult portions ‘bad’, only because that which has hurt and or frustrated me has brought me to the place where I am today. A place from which I’m able to view with a profound sense of contentment and gratefulness.

As 2008 started, I was emotionally caught in a place of stubborn hope, yet laced with a deep dread of loss. In short, what I thought was a relational fairy tale coming true ended up crushing my heart. It took me some time before the waves of emotions subsided, slowly easing into a gently lapping of water upon the shore, and has now settled into a peaceful place that only time and a gracious God can bring. While I am still blindfolded in this area of my life, I trustfully place my hand in the Lord’s and step willingly behind Him as He guides.

My job at the ranch is continuing to grow – taking on new responsibilities, tackling creative organizational areas, expanding my desire to cultivate and simplify this ministry, and doing it all while learning to love others more. Which translates out into looking to other’s needs before my own ‘to-do list demands’. I see this becoming a long-term thing, more so than I have before.

The cozy little house in town that I’ve resided in for the past year and nine months has morphed into a country home with 5 acres, 4 roommates, 3 horses, 2 dogs, 1 cat and a need to change the irrigation. I’m just starting settling into this new place and am looking forward to curling up by the wood fireplace when the snow starts falling outside. The 3 mile commute to work aint bad either. (Although the scurrying of a rodent in my ceiling doesn’t always give me sweet dreams.)

My community has blessed me beyond what I thought possible. Not only do I work with amazing people, who truly do desire to allow for each other’s faults, but many have become such close sisters to me. I wasn’t sure such camaraderie was possible. I live with 4 of these girls and can only anticipate the stories that will come out of this. I’ve also branched out a bit and started attending a Community Group with my church. Although the first night, while walking up the driveway, I was thinking, ‘Why do I torture myself so?’, I have found it easy to be myself within this group of people and am starting to build friendships there as well.

As the season changes, I anticipate what will be next. I can only imagine that it will bring it’s own joys and challenges, but I know that I have been prepared for whatever is before me.