The wonder...

In quiet, uninterrupted moments, my heart relaxes and sighs in contemplation and reflection. In the majesty of creation, my spirit swells in wonder and anticipation. The two came together last week on an early morning on the summit of Smith Rock.

The climb up Misery Ridge was filled with stopping points to catch my breath and slow my heavily beating heart. Being somewhat in shape from marathon training did little to hasten my ascend. As I reached what I believed had to be the summit, I was discouraged to find the directional sign proclaiming that I had progressed only half-way up the trail. My determination wavered between pressing on or just concluding my upward journey where I stood. But the competitive nature of my spirit would not let me finish my expedition there. I had a goal in mind and I hadn’t come this far just to wimp out.

As I continued my hike, the trail before me became a meandering path through windblown juniper trees and shrubbery. A short minute later, it took me around to the other side of the rock to reveal the magnificent stretch of mountains that are trademark to Central Oregon. I realized that the remainder of the trail on the map was a descent towards the river that meanders around the State Park. Climbing up just a little higher to the pinnacle of a large rock, I was just about on the highest point around, a breathtaking view in all directions.

As I sat, soaking up the beauty and tranquility, I was so thankful for my earlier decision to press on. It made me wonder how often I give up on what seems too difficult, only to have abandoned an amazing moment or blessing that was just around the corner. I don’t want to live life in mediocrity, only venturing out when it seems easy or convenient. I desire to fully live this adventure that Christ has laid out before me, trials and all.

God met me in that place, further deepening this romance that He is cultivating between the two of us. He calls to me and when I respond to His voice, it is a beautiful and mysterious thing.

...tea for two...

I have become a tea drinker. Who would have ever thought I would like this somewhat flavored water stuff… but I’ve finally converted. Oh, I still have my cup of coffee in the morning, but these cold winter months have convinced me that a warm decaffeinated beverage in the afternoons or evenings is a good thing. Plus, if you’re meeting people at a coffee shop to hang out, it helps out your bank account. And you feel more thoughtful and pensive, too, I guess. I’m learning to really enjoy slowing down and learning how to breathe. Guess the tea theme fits right into that.

[Saturday mornings]

I love relaxing mornings off where I can sit in my favorite recliner (an old blue worn-leather chair that plugs into the wall… yep, an electric recliner, it’s pretty sweet.), savor a cup of coffee, and ponder the thoughts and whispers of my heart. I’m such an introvert in that I really recharge by being quiet. I love people and friends and spending good times together (like last night, hanging out with the clan down at McMenamins), but I really get refreshed by taking a few calm moments to listen to the inner-thoughts of my heart, that so often get shoved to the side in the to-do lists of life.

Someday I want to build a house and include this quiet morning place into the blueprints.

In Pursuit of Balance

Sometimes this life gets going at such a crazy speed; my little brain feels like it can’t take it anymore.

I had a wonderful time at home for Christmas, enjoying lots of food and football with my dad. Catching up with old friends in our old hometown, and driving to Bellingham, Canada & Seattle to see many other precious friends. Life was at a good speed, maybe even a little slow.

I’ve been home for just under a week and have felt shot out of a cannon. Four days later, I’ve finally answered all the emails sitting in my inbox, waiting for me. Meetings, appointments, to-do lists abound.

Tonight was the first evening that I’ve actually done more than just sleep at my house. I’ve been out and about every other night. Mostly good stuff, but I’ve come to realize I do so much better when I’ve had some quiet down time. I’m very much an introvert in that way – I recharge by being quiet (& sometimes alone).

The crushing speed and demands of life made me feel a little overwhelmed and unbalanced today. As much as I really do enjoy my job, I desire a time in life where I don’t have to work so that I can continue to have a warm place to sleep and food in the fridge. Will I ever have the opportunity to make a home for a family? To keep a cozy and clean house? Cook meals for loved ones? Or at least have the time to make it to the grocery store before 8 p.m.? Some days it feels like such a far off dream. But I’m holding onto that dream and trying to learn how to stay balanced in the craziness that is called life. I really don’t think it is ever going to slow down.

... adjustments & yearning...

I am so very thankful for this little orange kitten sitting in my lap right now. Through some unexpected circumstances, I became a cat owner about 6 weeks ago. Who knew when I said yes to taking her, how grateful I would be for her now.

I think one of the hardest things about this season in my life is the inability to really rely on people. Close friends are wonderful, but they end up taking jobs across the country (or world) or getting married and leave you a bit lonely. Roommates are great – but they up and move on you unexpectedly, causing you to frantically find a solution to the monthly rent. I so long for someone to journey through life with – someone who is along for all the adventures, sorrows and changes. Someone who you can learn to lean on and trust, knowing that they are doing the same. Someone to come home from the grocery store to, a meal waiting to be prepared and shared.

Instead, here I sit – housing situation up in the air, a close friend on the verge of two becoming one, another friend on the road (literally) to a new life. But I also have a little orange tabby sitting in my lap purring. I do not want to become the crazy cat lady, but to have someone who relies on you and loves your homecomings is a good thing for my soul right now.

And in the meantime, I will wait upon the Lord. He knows the desires of my heart and I know His timing is perfect.

It Pays to Research

My car, Sam, which has been a wonderfully reliable vehicle until recently, has had a bit of an upset stomach of sorts. Or perhaps it would be considered a cold.

I've noticed things not running as smoothly (and my gas running lower than normal) and then the dreaded Check Engine Light came on... dum, dum, dum...

After throwing away about $100 on it, my wonderful research papa discovered a recall on my car - with people describing the same problems I was having.

So, after many unanswered calls to the local dealership service department, I finally got through - and learned that I am covered under the recall! Yeah!

Thanks, Papa, for taking care of me yet again.

Summer

This summer has been brimming full – it’s hard to believe that soon August will be drawing to a close. Where exactly did summer rush off to? These last few months have been full of activity, road trips, laughter, deadlines, planning, spontaneity, new faces and adventures, quick but much anticipated visits with old, dear friends. All in all, time well spent.

A few things I have loved about this summer:

Flip-flop Tans
Which is a sure sign that your toes have been free for a good part of the sunny months. Too many days in work boots is not a good thing.

Road Trips
Be it a spontaneous trip home, heading west to the coast a few times, an anticipated trip down to LA and then Mexico, they’re all good. (Minus the cramming 8 people into a truck twin-cab)

Lemonade
I have forgotten what a delightful treat this is on a hot, summer day.

Friends Getting Engaged
There is something so sweet about walking through life with someone, hearing and experiencing the ups and downs together, and then being about to witness such happiness.

Western Horseman
Check out the August 2006 article, page 42.

Thunderstorms
Being a true Seattleite, I miss the rain. So, when the high desert rolls out their lightning shows, I love it.

Which also brings me to the things that aren’t so great about summer…

Forest Fires
Much of the summer has been clouded in smoke. One of the larger fires being only 10 miles away. I’m so not used to this.

Funerals
Not the best way for a family reunion. I say the next time we all get together is for a wedding.

Rooster Cows
I don’t know what is wrong with the neighbor’s cow, but it has a problem. Not so pleasant early in the morning.

Farmers Tans
See Friends Getting Engaged. With this, brings a Maid of Honor dress. Not a bad thing at all, unless I can’t get rid of a few crazy tan lines. Fake and bake, here I come.

I love you, Papa

I keep getting harassed for not updating (sorry Dad & Kevo), but life has been keeping me in a sprint for the last couple months and I haven't had much time to sit and just ponder away at life, which is always when I get inspired to write.

Our season for the ranch opened up this past week and it has been great. A bit tiring (I come home at the end of a long workday ready to just crash, my brain still going a mile a minute), but it has reminded me why I am here. I love working with kids, especially watching the smile slowly creap onto their face after being here on the ranch. One instance this week - a young teen came for the first time and I could barely get a word out of her at the beginning, and especially not a smile. At the end of our time together, working and riding a horse, she has such a big, beautiful smile on her face, and she even gave me a hug at the end. Yep, there is such a reward in serving others in a way that energizes my spirit.

As I settle into the routine of the year, I am hoping I won't get so behind on updates. :) Thanks for giving me grief, guys.

Coastal Destination

Two weekends ago, a few of the girls, Gus (my roommates Jack Russell terrier) and I crammed into Becca’s car with the trunk jammed full of stuff, a full tank of gas, and enough roadtrip food to last us a week. A few phone calls the night before at 11 p.m. confirmed our plans for a spontaneous trip and we headed west with no clear destination except the coast.

As we headed over the pass towards the ocean, I was thankful I wasn’t driving. It was snowing pretty heavily as we hit the summit, but it slowly turned to rain. Ahh, I almost forgot what the weather was like in the valley – overcast, rainy, gloomy skies. But it was still a balm for my soul. One can stay cooped up in one place for only so long (didn’t I just get back from Seattle less than 3 weeks ago?) before you go stir crazy.

We hit up the small coastal towns (me being very thankful I didn’t live in a small coastal town) and spend many hours on the beach. Getting soaked for the most part. But also enjoying a rich sunset with the familiar grains of sand beneath my feet. So many memories of my year in Cannon Beach came flooding back to me.



Life is good when you are living it.

The 4's

4 jobs you’ve had in your life:
1) Admin Assistant
2) Flower Arranger (I’m so not artistic either…)
3) Nanny
4) Horseback Riding Instructor

4 movies you would watch over and over:
1) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
2) Dirty Dancing
3) Grease
4) Sweet Home Alabama

4 TV shows you love to watch:
1) Gilmore Girls
2) Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
3) I have no TV service…

4 places you’ve been on vacation:
1) Honolulu, Oahu, Hawaii
2) Vermont in the fall
3) Cabo, Baja Peninsula, Mexico (well, it was a mission trip…)
4) Oradea, Romania & Budapest, Hungary (another mission trip…)

4 websites you visited daily:
1) G-mail
2) Ms. Rich
3) Ms. Rich’s Kinja
4) Relevantmagazine (more on a weekly basis)

4 of your favorite foods:
1) Lasagna
2) Mom’s Potato Salad
3) Enchiladas
4) Steak @ Outback Steakhouse

4 things you would change about your house:
1) More square footage
2) Ability to control heat
3) Drawers for silverware and other kitchen items
4) Having an oven

4 favorite authors:
1) Robin Jones Gunn
2) Nicole Johnson
3) Don Miller
4) Kim Meeder