Ready to Fight...

I take off for Oregon in only 4 more days. I’m really looking forward to checking out this opportunity and to see where it might bring me. As I was browsing around the internet doing some research about Bend, Oregon, I ran across this – a blog entry from a young girl. This is one of the reasons my heart gets so excited about this possibility – it touches real people right where they are at. This ranch is a safe place where love can spill out onto others.
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Who I Wish I Was:

I'd be pretty and smart. I'd be happy and without constant depression. And most of all, I'd have horses. I'd be a lovely redhead-brunette mix, without the scars I have and without all the splints I'm constantly wearing. I'd be graceful, rarely awkward, and be able to talk to the boy I love without freaking out when I call and hang up.

I'd be Princess of my own world, with my own room (hey, I could even handle a room with my youngest sibling, but NOT all three!), and be enrolled in an online college course about horse training. I'd be a 14-yr-old jockey and ride a Triple Crown winner to victory, I'd be a Junior Leader at Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a place that saved my life, and I'd be able to get through a day without being told I'm stupid.

That's who I wish I was.

Reality: I'm constantly told I'm ugly and dumb by my own family, I'm depressed 99% of the time, a total klutz with peanut-butter colored hair (why couldn't grape jelly color have been added???), and totally shy around a guy I've liked since I was 12. I'm basically a social outcast, meaning nobody to talk to, I have to share a room in a 5 bedroom house with three younger sisters, my brother has his own room and my mom and dad share. It's not like they can't spare one! And I barely passed 8th grade!

I'm small enough to be a jockey, but a) I'm SO inexperienced, b) my mom wouldn't let me after I've broken my arm 2 times on my own and the doc had to break it once to reset it, and c) I live in Oregon! It's not like I'm able to travel to the other side of the US for training! I don't even have my own horse!

Thanks to my injury, I'm not allowed to ride until at LEAST August, possibly later, and there is no way I'd be able to accomplish all that anyways!

I'll just be me for now, and possibly later I'll become who I want to be.

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I want to have a positive say in this girl's life, I want to be a part of extending hope to those who feel there is none. I want to be used of God to encourage and lift up the broken hearted.