Am I the only one who gets asked by strangers why I’m not married or dating anyone? It’s bothersome enough when it’s from people I know at weddings or family gatherings, but total strangers who I’ve just met? (I guess it could be partly due to the fact that I work at a church where there are a lot of younger staff, all freshly married within the last two years or so.)
Granted, it’s a question I ask myself sometimes. My parents say I’m too picky, but I figure it’s better to be a little picky than not. For the most part, I’m okay with this single thing, but there are definitely moments when it would be nice for that dream to unfold in my life.
It’s always interesting when a bunch of us girls get together and start chatting late into the night. Everyone has their boyfriend/dating/break-up stories, and I just listen and throw in my one story about when I was 17… It always makes me feel a bit juvenile.
But I was reminded a couple nights ago that God is looking out for my best. As much as I complain at times that He hasn’t brought “the one” into my life as I watch all my friends (and the younger girls I used to mentor) get married, I found myself saying, “Thank you, Jesus.” For some reason, He is sparing me from unneeded pain and a damaged heart. He is allowing me to have my life and heart shaped without distractions. He is daily preparing me for what He’s got in store.
I’m sure I’ll go on complaining (and having random people gawk that some guy hasn’t “snatched me up”), but deep down I’ll quietly trust in the plan He is unfolding. I can’t see much of it yet, but I know it’s a good one.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
January's a-comin'
I had a blessed Christmas season, although it always seems to come to a close so quickly. There is such anticipation and build-up, and then in one fell swoop, it is finished and you are left picking up stray pieces of wrapping paper and disassembling the decorated tree.
But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If the whole year was as event-packed and frantic as December was, our life expectancy would probably be shortened by about 40 years. I’m always thankful for the January calm when it approaches with the freshness of a new year.
Yet as packed as this last month was, there were some sweet memories as well. I got to spend some quality time with my family – which is sometimes a rare thing with all of our conflicting schedules. The annual tree hunt is always a highlight.
A new addition to this years Christmas memories: an all-out Alias fest for my brother and I. 2 full seasons in the span of about a month – that’s a lot of TV time logged. (We found a new addiction and need to be caught up for when the 4th season starts on January 4.)
Another memory that I think needs to be at least a yearly occurrence - a trip to the nearby ice skating rink. Fun times had by all, especially Missy with her face-plant to the ice. Pictures will follow shortly.
But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If the whole year was as event-packed and frantic as December was, our life expectancy would probably be shortened by about 40 years. I’m always thankful for the January calm when it approaches with the freshness of a new year.
Yet as packed as this last month was, there were some sweet memories as well. I got to spend some quality time with my family – which is sometimes a rare thing with all of our conflicting schedules. The annual tree hunt is always a highlight.
A new addition to this years Christmas memories: an all-out Alias fest for my brother and I. 2 full seasons in the span of about a month – that’s a lot of TV time logged. (We found a new addiction and need to be caught up for when the 4th season starts on January 4.)
Another memory that I think needs to be at least a yearly occurrence - a trip to the nearby ice skating rink. Fun times had by all, especially Missy with her face-plant to the ice. Pictures will follow shortly.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
What excitement the city holds...
Friday night found me on the ferry to Seattle to meet up with a good friend of mine, Linnea. She and an old roommate of mine, Shannon, just moved into a darling one-bedroom apartment on Alki. Literally right across the street from the strip of beach front with a beautiful view of the lights of Seattle. I’m sure they will have lots of interesting stories that always seem to come from the one bedroom vs. two bedroom places. (I’ve found it is always better to air of the side of caution – get a place with enough bedrooms for each person), but the location is awesome.
After hanging out at her new place for a bit, we headed off to the Paradox to go to a Late Tuesday show – an indie girl band started up in Bellingham. The venue was a bit different (just an empty room with a stage – everyone was sitting on the cold, hard floor during the opening band. Felt a little like a Kindergarten room…), but LT was awesome, as always.
I took some pictures to post, but my camera’s memory card crapped out on me. This will have to do: Not The One
After hanging out at her new place for a bit, we headed off to the Paradox to go to a Late Tuesday show – an indie girl band started up in Bellingham. The venue was a bit different (just an empty room with a stage – everyone was sitting on the cold, hard floor during the opening band. Felt a little like a Kindergarten room…), but LT was awesome, as always.
I took some pictures to post, but my camera’s memory card crapped out on me. This will have to do: Not The One
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
It's Christmas Time in the City
Well, Stacey and I came out unscathed last night from the Christmas Shopping Extravaganza. The driver of a green Mazda almost took us out a couple times, but we managed to successfully drive about Silverdale without a wreck or lost limbs. And we didn’t do half bad on the shopping either, almost got everything I was looking for.
Some of my favorite moments:
A cheap dinner at Red Robin.
We both ordered our old standby, Kids sized Clucks and Fries. It’s genius really – you get two chicken strips and unlimited fries, just enough to make you full. Our server (realizing from our order that we weren’t going to be his big tippers of the evening) was great to us. I think he figured if he was very attentive to our needs and delivered speedy service, he might up his ante a little. And it worked. We are not known for our chintzy tips. (Thanks to my poor math skills, we once gave a $10 tip for a $30 breakfast. Sorry girls!)
Hallmark, when you care enough to give the very best.
After browsing through the Fresh Ink cards (and laughing at the Love section – depending on who you gave some of those cards to, it could get really staker-ish.), we walked up to the front to pay for the winning card. The Sales Associate was a little on the …. hmm, shall we say discourteous side? Not impressed. I used to work at Hallmark back in the day, so it stuck out to me all the more.
As we were attempting to exit the store, I whispered to Stacey, “Good thing we weren’t secret shoppers or something, huh?”
She quickly retorted, “Yeah, wasn’t she awful!” in a not-so-quiet voice, before we entered back into the abyss of the mall walkway.
“Why don’t you say that a little louder?” I had a good laugh at Stace’s expense after I pointed out her volume and she quickly turned bright red. The holiday shopping was quickly getting to our systems and we weren’t about to last much longer.
Just about gone.
Our last stop was at Pier 1. As we browsed around the store, we became those annoying shoppers – the ones who are laughing hysterically about nothing, shouting across the store at each other when we found a desired item, and making the sales person dismantle a candle display because we were in need of the item that held it all together. Thankfully we managed to leave the store intact as we departed.
~~~
One more Holiday tradition under the belt for this year. Just a couple more to go!
Some of my favorite moments:
A cheap dinner at Red Robin.
We both ordered our old standby, Kids sized Clucks and Fries. It’s genius really – you get two chicken strips and unlimited fries, just enough to make you full. Our server (realizing from our order that we weren’t going to be his big tippers of the evening) was great to us. I think he figured if he was very attentive to our needs and delivered speedy service, he might up his ante a little. And it worked. We are not known for our chintzy tips. (Thanks to my poor math skills, we once gave a $10 tip for a $30 breakfast. Sorry girls!)
Hallmark, when you care enough to give the very best.
After browsing through the Fresh Ink cards (and laughing at the Love section – depending on who you gave some of those cards to, it could get really staker-ish.), we walked up to the front to pay for the winning card. The Sales Associate was a little on the …. hmm, shall we say discourteous side? Not impressed. I used to work at Hallmark back in the day, so it stuck out to me all the more.
As we were attempting to exit the store, I whispered to Stacey, “Good thing we weren’t secret shoppers or something, huh?”
She quickly retorted, “Yeah, wasn’t she awful!” in a not-so-quiet voice, before we entered back into the abyss of the mall walkway.
“Why don’t you say that a little louder?” I had a good laugh at Stace’s expense after I pointed out her volume and she quickly turned bright red. The holiday shopping was quickly getting to our systems and we weren’t about to last much longer.
Just about gone.
Our last stop was at Pier 1. As we browsed around the store, we became those annoying shoppers – the ones who are laughing hysterically about nothing, shouting across the store at each other when we found a desired item, and making the sales person dismantle a candle display because we were in need of the item that held it all together. Thankfully we managed to leave the store intact as we departed.
~~~
One more Holiday tradition under the belt for this year. Just a couple more to go!
Monday, December 13, 2004
Theatre, the theatre...
Wow – crazy weekend! Between the Dessert Theatre and the Christmas Concert, I was one busy chica. 6 performances in 4 days is enough to wear anyone out. Strolling into work today felt a little premature. Having been at the church all weekend, I was not necessarily thrilled to see it again come this morning.
Over all, everything went great, though. Had my debut for singing a solo and actually didn’t do half bad. The first two nights I was a little shaky, but I mentally pep-talked myself through it. (At least I knew the lyrics well enough that I was able to silently lecture myself while singing.) By Saturday, I had it down – of course this was our last performance, naturally.
Here is the rising star:
Over all, everything went great, though. Had my debut for singing a solo and actually didn’t do half bad. The first two nights I was a little shaky, but I mentally pep-talked myself through it. (At least I knew the lyrics well enough that I was able to silently lecture myself while singing.) By Saturday, I had it down – of course this was our last performance, naturally.
Here is the rising star:
Friday, December 10, 2004
Giving up Control (at least what control I thought I had)
Sometimes this temporal life that I lead seems to take center stage. I get caught up in the day to day of my earthly existence and fail to see the broader scope of things.
So many times, as I go about ‘life,’ I get so tunnel-visioned. I somehow get it into my head that what I see is all there is. I am the one in control, if I am not the one to make everything happen, my life will fall by the wayside.
I do agree that I have a part (I can’t just sit as a bump on a log and expect my gifts to be used and steps to be taken for me). I do need to make good decisions, and follow what is placed in my path, but I don’t need to create that path. All of my days were appointed before one of them even came to be. It’s such a freeing realization and reminder.
Even if I can’t see around the bend of the next step or the ten year plan, it’s okay. I just need to follow the promptings that I have, and learn to trust more fully in my Lord who is leading. He’s putting together a story with my life that will bring Him glory and honor.
So many times, as I go about ‘life,’ I get so tunnel-visioned. I somehow get it into my head that what I see is all there is. I am the one in control, if I am not the one to make everything happen, my life will fall by the wayside.
I do agree that I have a part (I can’t just sit as a bump on a log and expect my gifts to be used and steps to be taken for me). I do need to make good decisions, and follow what is placed in my path, but I don’t need to create that path. All of my days were appointed before one of them even came to be. It’s such a freeing realization and reminder.
Even if I can’t see around the bend of the next step or the ten year plan, it’s okay. I just need to follow the promptings that I have, and learn to trust more fully in my Lord who is leading. He’s putting together a story with my life that will bring Him glory and honor.
Friday, December 03, 2004
One of those mornings...
It’s just been one of those mornings so far that you kind of shake your head at, but keep going.
I was running late from the get-go (which tends to happen if I hang out a little too late with good friends in a hot tub the night before). I’m not one to figure out the next day’s outfit the night before, but I’m sure that if I were, I could save some time in the mad dash to get out the door to work in the mornings. But thankfully today is Friday, and it’s a little more lax around the office as far as attire goes.
As I went to put on my shoes though, I discovered that I had carelessly put them on the floor under where I had hung my wet swimsuit from the night before. Let’s just say I got a dose of cold (and wet) feet this morning. As a result, those shoes were tossed aside and I had to search for a suitable pair of black work shoes. It also reminded me that I need to go shoe shopping – it’s been way too long.
Not having time to scrounge up some breakfast at home, I stopped by a local coffeeshop to indulge in a tall white mocha and a bagel (they also have breakfast burritos, which are delicious, but I figured a bagel was probably a safer option for this morning). Apparently it was also one of those mornings for the baristas too, because it took about 3 times longer that I would have hoped to get my coffee and breakfast. It was my day to open up the office, but I came in to discover my boss had done it for me. Not necessarily a good thing. J
I’m hoping the rest of the day goes a little smoother, but I’m not holding my breath!
I was running late from the get-go (which tends to happen if I hang out a little too late with good friends in a hot tub the night before). I’m not one to figure out the next day’s outfit the night before, but I’m sure that if I were, I could save some time in the mad dash to get out the door to work in the mornings. But thankfully today is Friday, and it’s a little more lax around the office as far as attire goes.
As I went to put on my shoes though, I discovered that I had carelessly put them on the floor under where I had hung my wet swimsuit from the night before. Let’s just say I got a dose of cold (and wet) feet this morning. As a result, those shoes were tossed aside and I had to search for a suitable pair of black work shoes. It also reminded me that I need to go shoe shopping – it’s been way too long.
Not having time to scrounge up some breakfast at home, I stopped by a local coffeeshop to indulge in a tall white mocha and a bagel (they also have breakfast burritos, which are delicious, but I figured a bagel was probably a safer option for this morning). Apparently it was also one of those mornings for the baristas too, because it took about 3 times longer that I would have hoped to get my coffee and breakfast. It was my day to open up the office, but I came in to discover my boss had done it for me. Not necessarily a good thing. J
I’m hoping the rest of the day goes a little smoother, but I’m not holding my breath!
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
The Lion King
Here's the highlight of my day - I bought 2 tickets to see the Broadway production of The Lion King! 
Steph and I will be going in early January. This makes it my 5th ballet/broadway show that I've seen in about 14 months - I'm finally becoming cultured! :)
Steph and I will be going in early January. This makes it my 5th ballet/broadway show that I've seen in about 14 months - I'm finally becoming cultured! :)
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
It's Starting to Look a Lot Like Christmas...
Wow, Thanksgiving is already over and the Christmas season is hurrying on by. I always wonder every year how it could have come so quickly, but I’m not complaining – this is a great time of the year. (Unless of course, you work in retail, then I guess it’s not so pleasant. I do remember, though.)
I started off the Turkey Day festivities with a little romp in the mud. I dug out my old lacrosse cleats (they haven’t seen daylight in a few years) and joined the boys (and a few brave girlfriends of mine) on the football field for what sounded like fun for the moment. Four days later and I am just now recovering from the torture I subjected my body to. Ouch! This girl is not used to 2 hours of running around and tackling people. Well, tackling would be a skewed term – chasing after the QB and occasionally 2 hand touching would be a little more accurate.
After the turkey, stuffing, and all the works had a day to settle, we went and picked out our Christmas tree. The morning following that I got a wake up call from a friend saying to get ready because I was being treated to The Nutcracker at McCaw Hall in Seattle. Not a bad way to wake up! We had a fabulous time enjoying the freezing cold weather, wonderful friends, and a beautiful ballet.
The Christmas season is officially upon us!
I started off the Turkey Day festivities with a little romp in the mud. I dug out my old lacrosse cleats (they haven’t seen daylight in a few years) and joined the boys (and a few brave girlfriends of mine) on the football field for what sounded like fun for the moment. Four days later and I am just now recovering from the torture I subjected my body to. Ouch! This girl is not used to 2 hours of running around and tackling people. Well, tackling would be a skewed term – chasing after the QB and occasionally 2 hand touching would be a little more accurate.
After the turkey, stuffing, and all the works had a day to settle, we went and picked out our Christmas tree. The morning following that I got a wake up call from a friend saying to get ready because I was being treated to The Nutcracker at McCaw Hall in Seattle. Not a bad way to wake up! We had a fabulous time enjoying the freezing cold weather, wonderful friends, and a beautiful ballet.
The Christmas season is officially upon us!
Friday, November 19, 2004
Step of Faith
Steps of faith – it’s never an easy thing, but if it’s a step in the right direction, there is nothing more rewarding.
I just got back from a road trip down to Bend, Oregon to check out the ranch that has been on my heart and mind for the past couple months. Stepping foot on the soil that has been a lifeline to so many horses and kids seemed a little surreal. The chilly air reminded me that this was very real, but it was slightly hard to believe that I was actually there, in Oregon, checking into this possibility, rather than just going along my daily existence talking about this thing I would like to do, but never actually taking the step to possibly make it a reality.
I was able to take a tour of the ranch, hear the stories of the different horses, be loved on by these gentle giants, and see this haven of rescued dreams. There were some boys from the local juvenile detention center there doing chores, and also so other kids riding some of the horses. I got the chance to see the ranch is motion, and it was an incredible sight. It made my heart long to be a part of the mission that they have.
They close down for the winter (December – April), but it looks like a good possibility that I may be taking up residence in Central Oregon come spring. It’s a scary thought, but also a liberating one. If you get a chance, I highly recommend the book that the owner, Kim Meeder, has written about the ranch (Hope Rising) – it’s definitely a tear-jerker.
I just got back from a road trip down to Bend, Oregon to check out the ranch that has been on my heart and mind for the past couple months. Stepping foot on the soil that has been a lifeline to so many horses and kids seemed a little surreal. The chilly air reminded me that this was very real, but it was slightly hard to believe that I was actually there, in Oregon, checking into this possibility, rather than just going along my daily existence talking about this thing I would like to do, but never actually taking the step to possibly make it a reality.
I was able to take a tour of the ranch, hear the stories of the different horses, be loved on by these gentle giants, and see this haven of rescued dreams. There were some boys from the local juvenile detention center there doing chores, and also so other kids riding some of the horses. I got the chance to see the ranch is motion, and it was an incredible sight. It made my heart long to be a part of the mission that they have.
They close down for the winter (December – April), but it looks like a good possibility that I may be taking up residence in Central Oregon come spring. It’s a scary thought, but also a liberating one. If you get a chance, I highly recommend the book that the owner, Kim Meeder, has written about the ranch (Hope Rising) – it’s definitely a tear-jerker.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Shake Your Tailfeathers
In honor of Bosses Day, each year we get everyone together and have a little celebration in honor of our pastors. Included in this celebration is always a healthy dose of competion. In years past, it has been a scanvenger hunt, or racing a car that you had 5 minutes to build with what you could find in our supply room
This year, since we were a little tardy in our celebration (I think Bosses Day is usually around the middle of October - hey, it's better late than never, right?), we had a slightly Thanksgiving-ish feel to the afternoon.
Their challenge was to build a turkey with the items that were placed in front of them. Here are the results:
This year, since we were a little tardy in our celebration (I think Bosses Day is usually around the middle of October - hey, it's better late than never, right?), we had a slightly Thanksgiving-ish feel to the afternoon.
Their challenge was to build a turkey with the items that were placed in front of them. Here are the results:
Love Note
I found a little love note this morning. It wasn’t for me, but for the next best thing – my parents. This is one reason why I am blessed to be where I am at right now – otherwise I might have missed this.
My mom had left a little note by the coffee pot for my dad, brother and I saying something about pears being ripe, so we should eat them. My dad had written on top of the note, “Just to let you know, I know what you do. I can tell the tub’s been cleaned, even the sink. And in the dark I know that my underwear drawer is full and I could smell the coffee.”
It may seem like trivial little things, but I know that note will mean the world to my mom (my guess is that it might even bring her to tears). That is what I want to learn, that even after 27 years of marriage, the little things matter.
Find someone who you can encourage today, by taking the time to notice the small things.
My mom had left a little note by the coffee pot for my dad, brother and I saying something about pears being ripe, so we should eat them. My dad had written on top of the note, “Just to let you know, I know what you do. I can tell the tub’s been cleaned, even the sink. And in the dark I know that my underwear drawer is full and I could smell the coffee.”
It may seem like trivial little things, but I know that note will mean the world to my mom (my guess is that it might even bring her to tears). That is what I want to learn, that even after 27 years of marriage, the little things matter.
Find someone who you can encourage today, by taking the time to notice the small things.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Ready to Fight...
I take off for Oregon in only 4 more days. I’m really looking forward to checking out this opportunity and to see where it might bring me. As I was browsing around the internet doing some research about Bend, Oregon, I ran across this – a blog entry from a young girl. This is one of the reasons my heart gets so excited about this possibility – it touches real people right where they are at. This ranch is a safe place where love can spill out onto others.
~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Who I Wish I Was:
I'd be pretty and smart. I'd be happy and without constant depression. And most of all, I'd have horses. I'd be a lovely redhead-brunette mix, without the scars I have and without all the splints I'm constantly wearing. I'd be graceful, rarely awkward, and be able to talk to the boy I love without freaking out when I call and hang up.
I'd be pretty and smart. I'd be happy and without constant depression. And most of all, I'd have horses. I'd be a lovely redhead-brunette mix, without the scars I have and without all the splints I'm constantly wearing. I'd be graceful, rarely awkward, and be able to talk to the boy I love without freaking out when I call and hang up.
I'd be Princess of my own world, with my own room (hey, I could even handle a room with my youngest sibling, but NOT all three!), and be enrolled in an online college course about horse training. I'd be a 14-yr-old jockey and ride a Triple Crown winner to victory, I'd be a Junior Leader at Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a place that saved my life, and I'd be able to get through a day without being told I'm stupid.
That's who I wish I was.
Reality: I'm constantly told I'm ugly and dumb by my own family, I'm depressed 99% of the time, a total klutz with peanut-butter colored hair (why couldn't grape jelly color have been added???), and totally shy around a guy I've liked since I was 12. I'm basically a social outcast, meaning nobody to talk to, I have to share a room in a 5 bedroom house with three younger sisters, my brother has his own room and my mom and dad share. It's not like they can't spare one! And I barely passed 8th grade!
I'm small enough to be a jockey, but a) I'm SO inexperienced, b) my mom wouldn't let me after I've broken my arm 2 times on my own and the doc had to break it once to reset it, and c) I live in Oregon! It's not like I'm able to travel to the other side of the US for training! I don't even have my own horse!
Thanks to my injury, I'm not allowed to ride until at LEAST August, possibly later, and there is no way I'd be able to accomplish all that anyways!
I'll just be me for now, and possibly later I'll become who I want to be.
~~~~~
I want to have a positive say in this girl's life, I want to be a part of extending hope to those who feel there is none. I want to be used of God to encourage and lift up the broken hearted.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Coffee Cup Inspiration
Here is a little quote that was on the coffee mug that I used this morning. I thought it was quite fitting for my current situation.
“Faith is risking what is for what is yet to be. It is taking small steps knowing they lead to bigger ones. Faith is holding on when you want to let go. It is letting go when you want to hold on. Faith is hearing God’s yes when everything else says no. It is seeing the Light in darkness, the presence of God in all.” ~ Ellen M. Cuomo
“Faith is risking what is for what is yet to be. It is taking small steps knowing they lead to bigger ones. Faith is holding on when you want to let go. It is letting go when you want to hold on. Faith is hearing God’s yes when everything else says no. It is seeing the Light in darkness, the presence of God in all.” ~ Ellen M. Cuomo
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Once Upon A Time...
I like stories.
I am currently reading (for the first time) The Chronicles of Narnia. I know, I know, I was deprived during my childhood because I didn’t grow up with these stories, but I think I turned out alright.
As I am reading through the Chronicles, I am trying to catch all the symbolism and Lewis’ motivation for telling this fantasy behind the stories that he told. I was doing alright through The Magician’s Nephew and The Lion, the Witch, & The Wardrobe, but am slightly lost to the story behind The Horse & His Boy. I’m right in the middle of the book and that is usually the most difficult time to see what is really going on and what the outcome will be.
I’ve discovered along this journey of mine that that holds quite true for real life as well. As I travel through my days, I wonder what adventures I may behold along the way and the reason for them. And what the compilation of those adventures will be at the end of my life. Ultimately I know that my end result will be heaven, but my days here on earth hold much mystery.
I know the story that Christ is making with my life is a good one – he’s already promised me that. I’m just learning how to enjoy the ride and not get caught up in the details. I’ve taken to heart a line from my current reading.
“One of the drawbacks about adventures is that when you come to the most beautiful places you are often too anxious and hurried to appreciate them.” ~ C.S. Lewis, A Horse & His Boy
May you be blessed today and may you enjoy the journey!
I am currently reading (for the first time) The Chronicles of Narnia. I know, I know, I was deprived during my childhood because I didn’t grow up with these stories, but I think I turned out alright.
As I am reading through the Chronicles, I am trying to catch all the symbolism and Lewis’ motivation for telling this fantasy behind the stories that he told. I was doing alright through The Magician’s Nephew and The Lion, the Witch, & The Wardrobe, but am slightly lost to the story behind The Horse & His Boy. I’m right in the middle of the book and that is usually the most difficult time to see what is really going on and what the outcome will be.
I’ve discovered along this journey of mine that that holds quite true for real life as well. As I travel through my days, I wonder what adventures I may behold along the way and the reason for them. And what the compilation of those adventures will be at the end of my life. Ultimately I know that my end result will be heaven, but my days here on earth hold much mystery.
I know the story that Christ is making with my life is a good one – he’s already promised me that. I’m just learning how to enjoy the ride and not get caught up in the details. I’ve taken to heart a line from my current reading.
“One of the drawbacks about adventures is that when you come to the most beautiful places you are often too anxious and hurried to appreciate them.” ~ C.S. Lewis, A Horse & His Boy
May you be blessed today and may you enjoy the journey!
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Ol' Blue Eyes
This has been the week of music. Last night Stacey and I headed over to the Bremerton Community Theater and took in a Frank Sinatra Tribute. It was put together really well with a cabera setting. The music was timeless, but what was even more memorable was the other patrons of the evening. Other than two girls about our age, almost everyone was over the age of 70. It was really quite adorable.
It was interesting to think that those older couples had lived their lives to this music. I felt rather young as we walked through the lobby and found our seats, but also that I was sharing in their past and stories.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Thursday Evening Blessings
Tonight is one of those nights where you just don't want to go to work tomorrow. But I can't quite slip off to bed yet either.
I was blessed with an all-expenses paid evening out to Seattle for dinner (Chicken Marsala at Buca di Beppo's - always a favorite) and a concert - the Stephen Curtis Chapman, Casting Crowns, and Chris Tomlin tour. There is just something about listening to a band live that makes you appreciate their music that much more. I'm not a huge SCC fan, but Casting Crowns and Chris Tomlin were excellent. Both of them had their lyrics up on the screens, facilitating a large worship atmosphere. I soaked it in, while praising my God - it makes me anxious for heaven.
My one blunder of the evening - while walking out of the concert, I wasn't paying attention to where exactly I was heading, until I crashed smack into a pole. There's really nothing you can do but turn red and laugh it off. I'm happy to be amusement to my fellow concert-goers.
Alright, it's time for this chica to head to bed. Friday's tomorrow - dancing a little jig of joy.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Redemption
I attended a graduation ceremony this past weekend for a girl that I’ve know for quite a few years now. She had been going through the program offered by Teen Challenge (a one year residential program that helps men and women who have drug or addiction problems), and had finally completed all of the requirements. The graduation was a celebration of all of her accomplishments to straighten out her life.
It has certainly been a journey watching and intervening in her life for the past 5 years or so. There have been many others who have also worked to minister to this hurt girl, but it all seemed to not make much of a difference. The summer after her high school graduation showed the downward spiral that her life was becoming, but it was only when she hit rock bottom that she truly realized her need for a drastic change. She applied to attend Teen Challenge, knowing that without a radical alteration in her life-style, she didn’t have much of a future. A spot opened up for her last September, and through a series of challenges, she finally checked in.
It has been amazing to watch the transformation that has taken place through her time there. When she would call me before, I would hear a lot of, “Life sucks!” “Nobody cares about me.” “I hate myself.” But every time I spoke with her during her year down there, it was always positive, “This is really hard, but I know it’s good for me.” “Some of these girls drive me crazy, but I know I’m called to be an example for them, even when I don’t feel like it.”
To see this change in her makes all of those hours I spent more than worth it. She has made the decision to continue in her education at a Teen Challenge Institute and acquire her Pastoral degree. The ministry that this girl will have will be phenomenal. I know she will still have challenges ahead, but I also believe that God will see her through.
She recently asked me how I was able to continue to love her and believe in her even when she shoved it back in my face. I answered truthfully that it really wasn’t me doing the loving. It was Christ choosing to use this frail and imperfect vessel to communicate his love and forgiveness. On my own, I would have given up on many, including myself, long ago. It blows me away sometimes to think that God would desire to work through us, imperfect people, to carry on His work. But I am so thankful that He believed in me enough to not give up on me, and so I will continue to try and do the same.
It has certainly been a journey watching and intervening in her life for the past 5 years or so. There have been many others who have also worked to minister to this hurt girl, but it all seemed to not make much of a difference. The summer after her high school graduation showed the downward spiral that her life was becoming, but it was only when she hit rock bottom that she truly realized her need for a drastic change. She applied to attend Teen Challenge, knowing that without a radical alteration in her life-style, she didn’t have much of a future. A spot opened up for her last September, and through a series of challenges, she finally checked in.
It has been amazing to watch the transformation that has taken place through her time there. When she would call me before, I would hear a lot of, “Life sucks!” “Nobody cares about me.” “I hate myself.” But every time I spoke with her during her year down there, it was always positive, “This is really hard, but I know it’s good for me.” “Some of these girls drive me crazy, but I know I’m called to be an example for them, even when I don’t feel like it.”
To see this change in her makes all of those hours I spent more than worth it. She has made the decision to continue in her education at a Teen Challenge Institute and acquire her Pastoral degree. The ministry that this girl will have will be phenomenal. I know she will still have challenges ahead, but I also believe that God will see her through.
She recently asked me how I was able to continue to love her and believe in her even when she shoved it back in my face. I answered truthfully that it really wasn’t me doing the loving. It was Christ choosing to use this frail and imperfect vessel to communicate his love and forgiveness. On my own, I would have given up on many, including myself, long ago. It blows me away sometimes to think that God would desire to work through us, imperfect people, to carry on His work. But I am so thankful that He believed in me enough to not give up on me, and so I will continue to try and do the same.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Blue Skies, Shinin' On Me
I’m feeling the need for a tropical beach about now. It’s a little gloomy and windy outside and I’m craving the white sand, warm water, and glorious sun. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Northwest weather, but you can never quite go wrong with a sunny beach.
I was blessed last January to be able to accompany one of my best friends, Stephanie, to Hawaii. Her job was sending her over to Honolulu for job training (the benefits of working for the government) and I was able to tag along. We were put up in the Hilton situated right on Waikiki Beach, and it was like heaven. Our first meal there (steak and lobster on her business account) was a very surreal. It was hard for us to imagine we were really in Hawaii and not in some counterfeit setting like Disneyland. The week was wonderful and we were definitely spoiled with fun times in the sun.
Then a couple months later in April, I helped lead a group of students on a mission trip to Cabo San Lucas. Yes, we were in a highly populated vacation spot, but we really didn’t see a lot of that. We lived and worked in the barrio’s – helping to build a house for a doctor, and also putting on health fairs for children, to teach them about simple hygiene and healthy eating practices.
We did get a little bit of free time and the beach was our destination of choice. We were also blessed with a ride on a yacht our last day there and were able to relax and enjoy our beautiful surroundings.
It’s been 6 months and I’m feeling the need for a vacation again! Anyone want to offer me a free trip somewhere?
I was blessed last January to be able to accompany one of my best friends, Stephanie, to Hawaii. Her job was sending her over to Honolulu for job training (the benefits of working for the government) and I was able to tag along. We were put up in the Hilton situated right on Waikiki Beach, and it was like heaven. Our first meal there (steak and lobster on her business account) was a very surreal. It was hard for us to imagine we were really in Hawaii and not in some counterfeit setting like Disneyland. The week was wonderful and we were definitely spoiled with fun times in the sun.
Then a couple months later in April, I helped lead a group of students on a mission trip to Cabo San Lucas. Yes, we were in a highly populated vacation spot, but we really didn’t see a lot of that. We lived and worked in the barrio’s – helping to build a house for a doctor, and also putting on health fairs for children, to teach them about simple hygiene and healthy eating practices.
We did get a little bit of free time and the beach was our destination of choice. We were also blessed with a ride on a yacht our last day there and were able to relax and enjoy our beautiful surroundings.
It’s been 6 months and I’m feeling the need for a vacation again! Anyone want to offer me a free trip somewhere?
Friday, October 22, 2004
Yes! The weekend is finally here!
Wow, today was a doozy! Life as a church administrative assistant (that’s right, not secretary, administrative assistant) isn’t too bad, but it for sure has it’s moments. Today was one long moment. Fall is always the time for major events and they all seem to land in my departments (music and children) at once. Plus it seems that everyone but myself has decided to take vacation time. Why do I always get stuck there when everyone else is off in Hawaii or something? I was happy to see the clock finally tell me I could leave the madness and start enjoying the weekend.
My parents took me out for dinner tonight – no special reason, just ‘cause. I love that. We went to this great place out in Port Orchard (little bit of a drive) called Twetens. EXCELLENT seafood and a great atmosphere. It was nice to sit and chat and enjoy each other’s company – without schedules, interruptions, phone calls, etc. It’s so nice to take a break from the hurried pace and just enjoy those God has placed in your life. I encourage you to do the same.
My parents took me out for dinner tonight – no special reason, just ‘cause. I love that. We went to this great place out in Port Orchard (little bit of a drive) called Twetens. EXCELLENT seafood and a great atmosphere. It was nice to sit and chat and enjoy each other’s company – without schedules, interruptions, phone calls, etc. It’s so nice to take a break from the hurried pace and just enjoy those God has placed in your life. I encourage you to do the same.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
A Home for a Puzzle Piece
In case I haven’t shared about ‘the ranch’ – it’s a place down in Bend, Oregon, that I heard about around a month ago. The place (www.crystalpeaksyouthranch.org) takes in abused and neglected horses and kids and pairs them together for a sort of therapy and healing. The director of the ranch, Kim Meeder, has found that many of these horses and kids have had similar hurts in life and it’s amazing to see how they help each other overcome their fears and damage. Kim has written a book with many different testimonies of the ranch (Hope Rising published by Multnomah), and I was close to tears at the end of each short story. I’m not much of a crier (Stacey can attest to this), but this place grabbed a hold of my heart and wouldn’t let go.
Part of the reason why it resounded so deeply with me is because of my own teenage years. When I was about 14, my mother was diagnosed with bi-polar depression. The year and a half that followed was just short of hell. I didn’t have a mom all of a sudden, and I had to become ‘mom’ to my 8 year old brother. My mom would sleep for days on end; she rarely came out of her bedroom. Occasionally she would be up all night, and the next day she would be on this ‘high’ – it was like life was normal again, but I never knew when it would crash back down. I was trying to present to the world this happy face, that everything was fine (one neighbor was trying to have CPS take my brother and I away), and I learned how to hide pretty well.
During this time, I worked at a horse farm, spending every Saturday for three years mucking out stalls, grooming, feeding, and riding horses, and helping the younger girls that were in my care. I had been in love with horses ever since I was young, so this was a dream come true for me. It was also a place of escape for me. Here was a refuge that I could go and be loved on by these gentle giants and forget the pain and confusion at home.
When I was 16, my mom was completely healed from depression, all through the power of prayer. She now is able to use that time in her life as a testimony and a ministry to others who are going through similar things. She is such an amazing example to me and is one of my hero’s.
It wasn’t until recently when I was sharing with a friend about this newly discovered ranch that I realized why I was so excited about it. I hadn’t thought of that past time in my life in a while (it’s not something I think about much. Yes, it partly shaped who I am today, but God has healed my hurts from that time and has truly restored the damaged relationship I had with my mom), and it was like a puzzle starting to take shape. It confirmed even more that everything in my life has a reason and God is able to work it all for good. I realized I connected so deeply with the mission that they have there because I was one of those kids before.
So, I’m not really sure where this will all lead, but I’ve made that first step (which is a big thing for me), and I’m counting on God to lead me down the path He has for me.
Part of the reason why it resounded so deeply with me is because of my own teenage years. When I was about 14, my mother was diagnosed with bi-polar depression. The year and a half that followed was just short of hell. I didn’t have a mom all of a sudden, and I had to become ‘mom’ to my 8 year old brother. My mom would sleep for days on end; she rarely came out of her bedroom. Occasionally she would be up all night, and the next day she would be on this ‘high’ – it was like life was normal again, but I never knew when it would crash back down. I was trying to present to the world this happy face, that everything was fine (one neighbor was trying to have CPS take my brother and I away), and I learned how to hide pretty well.
During this time, I worked at a horse farm, spending every Saturday for three years mucking out stalls, grooming, feeding, and riding horses, and helping the younger girls that were in my care. I had been in love with horses ever since I was young, so this was a dream come true for me. It was also a place of escape for me. Here was a refuge that I could go and be loved on by these gentle giants and forget the pain and confusion at home.
When I was 16, my mom was completely healed from depression, all through the power of prayer. She now is able to use that time in her life as a testimony and a ministry to others who are going through similar things. She is such an amazing example to me and is one of my hero’s.
It wasn’t until recently when I was sharing with a friend about this newly discovered ranch that I realized why I was so excited about it. I hadn’t thought of that past time in my life in a while (it’s not something I think about much. Yes, it partly shaped who I am today, but God has healed my hurts from that time and has truly restored the damaged relationship I had with my mom), and it was like a puzzle starting to take shape. It confirmed even more that everything in my life has a reason and God is able to work it all for good. I realized I connected so deeply with the mission that they have there because I was one of those kids before.
So, I’m not really sure where this will all lead, but I’ve made that first step (which is a big thing for me), and I’m counting on God to lead me down the path He has for me.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
No Regrets
I got a call back from the ranch today.
That sentence kind of has mixed emotions for me. On one hand, the thought of a new adventure where I think I would actually feel like my soul was crying out a resounding, “Yes! Finally something that awakens me!” is an exciting thought. But the other side of me fears change. “What if it isn’t all I dreamed of? What if I am once again crushed from unfulfilled imaginings?” Ah, the uncertainties of life – you never truly know what each new step might bring. I have a month before I even go down there to check it out, so I get to wrestle with this for a while still.
I was watching the kids of one of my pastor’s again tonight. As we were chatting before they took off, he reminded me of something I had been thinking about a while ago (before all these choices presented themselves). I never want to look back on my life with regrets, knowing that I missed out on opportunities. It’s easy where I’m at right now, but the easy path doesn’t allow you to have great stories to share at the end of your life. I’m learning how to trust with each new twist this life brings me.
That sentence kind of has mixed emotions for me. On one hand, the thought of a new adventure where I think I would actually feel like my soul was crying out a resounding, “Yes! Finally something that awakens me!” is an exciting thought. But the other side of me fears change. “What if it isn’t all I dreamed of? What if I am once again crushed from unfulfilled imaginings?” Ah, the uncertainties of life – you never truly know what each new step might bring. I have a month before I even go down there to check it out, so I get to wrestle with this for a while still.
I was watching the kids of one of my pastor’s again tonight. As we were chatting before they took off, he reminded me of something I had been thinking about a while ago (before all these choices presented themselves). I never want to look back on my life with regrets, knowing that I missed out on opportunities. It’s easy where I’m at right now, but the easy path doesn’t allow you to have great stories to share at the end of your life. I’m learning how to trust with each new twist this life brings me.
Monday, October 18, 2004
A Brief Interruption
This weekend was a breath of fresh air – a much needed escape from the daily grind. I love the little interruptions to the predictable pattern that life can become.
I jumped at the chance to road trip up north a couple hours with two of my favorite girls, Lili and Stacey. We stopped at a newly acquired friend’s house on the way up and were welcomed with open arms and feed with generous spirits. We left there after a couple hours with full bellies, hot tea for my cough, and a bag full of strawberry flavored vitamin C drops for us sickies. Trips can be much more pleasant without the sniffles, tissues, coughs, and sneezes, but we weren’t about to let those petty things stop us.
The trip on the whole was great, but here are a few things that stuck out:
I jumped at the chance to road trip up north a couple hours with two of my favorite girls, Lili and Stacey. We stopped at a newly acquired friend’s house on the way up and were welcomed with open arms and feed with generous spirits. We left there after a couple hours with full bellies, hot tea for my cough, and a bag full of strawberry flavored vitamin C drops for us sickies. Trips can be much more pleasant without the sniffles, tissues, coughs, and sneezes, but we weren’t about to let those petty things stop us.
The trip on the whole was great, but here are a few things that stuck out:
- Funky and eclectic coffeehouses are much more desirable than college freshmen costumes parties. We arrived at our destination to find a houseful of young’ins looking for more beer and for their identities. We quickly hightailed it to a favorite spot of Stacey’s and mine – Stuart’s – a coffeehouse that serves up doses of caffeine, hippy patrons, occasional live music, and plenty of places to sit and contemplate, or enjoy company.
- Late on Saturday night, while the NyQuil was taking effect, Stacey started asking the really deep questions such as, “If you could be any animal, what would you choose?” Even more random than the question was Lili promptly yelling from the next room, “A penguin!” Why a penguin? I’m not really sure. Why she had that pre-contemplated? I wonder even more. Next on the deep question list from Ms. Rich, “If you could be any person in the world, who would you be?” I had a cool revelation as I pondered my answer. “I don’t think I would want to be anyone other than myself. My life isn’t grand and splendid all the time, and I’m not really sure what my next step will be at the moment, but overall I wouldn’t change much.” It’s a great thing to come to the conclusion that you are content with who you are. Not content as in there is nothing further for me to attain to, but content as in I am happy with who Christ has made me and who He is shaping me to be.
- I was able to attend a service at Christ the King, a church I’ve heard much about and couldn’t wait to visit. The pastor, Grant, spoke of what our focus should be – reaching out and saving that which is lost. He used the example of the original Humane Society – those who would row out to shipwrecks to save souls before the Coast Guard eventually took over. They still have banquets today to remember the “good ol’ days” even though they no longer participate in their mission. I never want to come to the place where I bask in the memories of old while no longer pursuing that which Christ has called me to – to join in His mission of reaching lost people.
While driving home laughing at new inside jokes, I smiled with thankfulness at how God chooses to bless me – with friends who allow me to completely be myself, and the reminder of my purpose here on earth and what is truly fulfilling.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Sacred Retreats
I’m heading up to Bellingham for a little weekend getaway today. Lili and Stacey asked me to join their excursion, and I’m really looking forward to it. Sometimes you just need to get away from your usual surroundings to really appreciate them. (And I’m excited about the group that is going. The last time I headed north, the car was full of four girls who were getting rather irritated by the time we were almost home. I’m great friends with all who were there; it was just too much time, too close of quarters. Lil, Stace, and I are all pretty laid back, so this should be really enjoyable.)
Long car trips and getting away from your usual surroundings always remind me of Cannon Beach, Oregon. I lived in CB for a year while going to school there, and it is the perfect getaway for a retreat with God. Small town, slow pace, and my favorite beach on the West Coast (not to mention the specialty chocolate shop where I was first introduced to chocolate covered gummy bears. Don’t judge them until you’ve tried them – they are perfect combination of gummy-goodness and sweet chocolate). The Bible school I attended was really small (120 students), but it was a great year of focusing in and connecting with God and being surrounded by those who were doing the same.
I think because of that year, beaches will always be synonymous with communion with God for me. Watching the wave’s crash upon the shore, smelling the scent of salt as the wind blows, and feeling the tiny grains of sand sifting through my fingers are a sacred thing for me. During that year, God really spoke the message of Psalm 139 into my heart – He has ordained each of my days and knows every detail of me. He knows the desires of my heart; he placed them there after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Psalm 139
1 O LORD , you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways. 4
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD .
5 You hem me in-behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD ,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be blessed with the knowledge that He knows all of your concerns and will guide you as you lean on Him for his direction.
Long car trips and getting away from your usual surroundings always remind me of Cannon Beach, Oregon. I lived in CB for a year while going to school there, and it is the perfect getaway for a retreat with God. Small town, slow pace, and my favorite beach on the West Coast (not to mention the specialty chocolate shop where I was first introduced to chocolate covered gummy bears. Don’t judge them until you’ve tried them – they are perfect combination of gummy-goodness and sweet chocolate). The Bible school I attended was really small (120 students), but it was a great year of focusing in and connecting with God and being surrounded by those who were doing the same.
I think because of that year, beaches will always be synonymous with communion with God for me. Watching the wave’s crash upon the shore, smelling the scent of salt as the wind blows, and feeling the tiny grains of sand sifting through my fingers are a sacred thing for me. During that year, God really spoke the message of Psalm 139 into my heart – He has ordained each of my days and knows every detail of me. He knows the desires of my heart; he placed them there after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Psalm 139
1 O LORD , you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways. 4
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD .
5 You hem me in-behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD ,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be blessed with the knowledge that He knows all of your concerns and will guide you as you lean on Him for his direction.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
And I Thought I Had It Bad
It was a rough start to the day. I doped myself up on NyQuil last night so I could actually sleep and then had about 5 pillows propping me up so I could breathe. I actually sleep decently; well, as decently as you can when you are waking yourself up every hour or so by a coughing fit.
It was a debate this morning whether to go into work or not, but responsibility won out. I had way too much stuff to do to let it go for two days. Plus, we were taking the Staff Christmas picture this morning, and it always feels good to be included. (I was in the front row - I’m sure you’ll be able to see my droopy eyes.)
I forgot that we needed to wear black slacks for the picture until about 10 minutes before I had to leave (we usually have to ‘dress up’ somewhat, but I was going to try to sneak by with jeans today - I was sick after all!), so of course my pants needed ironing. (Thankfully they were already clean, though.) Since ironing is my mom’s least favorite chore and she only gets around to it about twice a year, the ironing board is stored out in the garage. As I step into the garage to retrieve it, I place my socked foot onto something soft. Wondering what this plush thing was on our hard concrete floor, I turn the light on.
To my unpleasant surprise, it is the tail of a squirrel, with one leg still attached.
My lovely cat who is older than dirt (she’s 15 yrs. old) brought me a gift. How sweet and thoughtful of her. Other than being thoroughly grossed out because I stepped on the thing, I actually thought it was pretty funny. I had no idea that hunter-of-a-cat still had it in her. (Years before, the cat had brought snakes, birds, mice, moles, etc. home for our approval.) But I guess this was the squirrel that my mom watched gather nuts every morning during her quiet time, so she wasn’t so thrilled. Oh well, the circle of life must continue.
It was a debate this morning whether to go into work or not, but responsibility won out. I had way too much stuff to do to let it go for two days. Plus, we were taking the Staff Christmas picture this morning, and it always feels good to be included. (I was in the front row - I’m sure you’ll be able to see my droopy eyes.)
I forgot that we needed to wear black slacks for the picture until about 10 minutes before I had to leave (we usually have to ‘dress up’ somewhat, but I was going to try to sneak by with jeans today - I was sick after all!), so of course my pants needed ironing. (Thankfully they were already clean, though.) Since ironing is my mom’s least favorite chore and she only gets around to it about twice a year, the ironing board is stored out in the garage. As I step into the garage to retrieve it, I place my socked foot onto something soft. Wondering what this plush thing was on our hard concrete floor, I turn the light on.
To my unpleasant surprise, it is the tail of a squirrel, with one leg still attached.
My lovely cat who is older than dirt (she’s 15 yrs. old) brought me a gift. How sweet and thoughtful of her. Other than being thoroughly grossed out because I stepped on the thing, I actually thought it was pretty funny. I had no idea that hunter-of-a-cat still had it in her. (Years before, the cat had brought snakes, birds, mice, moles, etc. home for our approval.) But I guess this was the squirrel that my mom watched gather nuts every morning during her quiet time, so she wasn’t so thrilled. Oh well, the circle of life must continue.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Hmm, the comforts of home...
Today has not been one of my better days – woke up with a sore throat, stuffy nose, headache, the works. I called work as soon as I woke up and decided it just wasn’t worth going in (it’s always best to call in just after you have woken up, when your voice is extra gravelly from sleep). But other than not being able to breathe and felling like I have a bunch of cotton stuffed in my head, it hasn’t been that bad.
I’ve decided that one great benefit to living at home is mom. And my mom is the greatest because she loves to pamper and take care of people. I’ve already had homemade chicken noodle soup, crackers and juice brought on command, and now a batch of potato salad is being prepared. (I’m not sure why, but my mom’s potato salad is one of my favorite comfort foods.)
This is so much nicer that when just living with roommates. I was lucky to even get someone to bring me a glass of water.
So, mom, I salute you! (oh, and can you make me some tea to go with the potato salad?) :)
I’ve decided that one great benefit to living at home is mom. And my mom is the greatest because she loves to pamper and take care of people. I’ve already had homemade chicken noodle soup, crackers and juice brought on command, and now a batch of potato salad is being prepared. (I’m not sure why, but my mom’s potato salad is one of my favorite comfort foods.)
This is so much nicer that when just living with roommates. I was lucky to even get someone to bring me a glass of water.
So, mom, I salute you! (oh, and can you make me some tea to go with the potato salad?) :)
Sunday, October 10, 2004
The Land of Familiar
Not long ago and not far away, a Nobody named Ordinary lived in the Land of Familiar.
Every day was pretty much the same for Ordinary. In the mornings he got up and went to his Usual Job. After work, he ate almost the same dinner he’d eaten the evening before. Then he sat in his recliner and watched the box that mesmerized most Nobodies on most nights. Sometimes, Best Friend came over to join Ordinary in front of the box. Sometimes, Ordinary went to his Parents’ and they watched together.
For the most part, not much happened in Familiar that hadn’t happened before. Ordinary thought he was content. He found the routine reliable. He blended in with the crowd. And mostly, he wanted only what he had.
Until the day Ordinary noticed a small, nagging feeling that something big was missing from his life. Or maybe the feeling was that he was missing from something big. He wasn’t sure.
The little feeling grew. And even though Nobodies in Familiar didn’t generally expect the unexpected, Ordinary began to wish for it.
~Bruce Wilkinson, The Dream Giver
As I watch the season change outside, the leaves turning brilliant shades of autumn, the temperature cooling off, and the rain settling into a daily pattern, my life anticipates change as well. This time of year is my favorite, which seems kind of odd for me. For the most part, I resist change. My parents still bring up when I was about 4 and they were trading in their old clunker of a car for a newer model and all I could do was cry and sob out that I didn’t want a new car – I liked the one we had. Even if it broke down on the on every trip at the farthest point. But it was familiar to me and I clung to it with dear life.
This year has been doused with change, and a lot of those changes have felt like small deaths to me. Through a series of events, I am no longer involved in the youth ministry where I poured out three years of my life; the college-aged internship program that I was on volunteer staff for (the ministry where my heart felt alive and where I felt like I was actually making a difference) has morphed into a slightly different program and I was not asked to be a part of it; all of my roommates moved away and I was financially forced to move back home. During each of these changes, I fought to hold on so tightly, but God had other plans. So, now I am doing what I said I would never do – working a full-time desk job, living with my parents, and not involved in ministry at all. God, you sure are funny.
But through it all, I’ve also realized that without death, new life cannot spring up. During this time of ‘nothingness’ I’ve begun to open my eyes to new possibilities that God may be presenting. One showed up about a month ago, while I was ordering a book off of Focus on the Family’s website for our Children’s Pastor. It is a horse ranch down in Oregon that takes in abused and neglected horses and abused and neglected kids and pairs them together as sort of a therapy for both of them. I’ve read some of the amazing stories that have come from this place and as soon as I heard about the ranch, it connected very deeply with me. I’ve put off contacting them for fear of the unknown. Sometimes it just seems so much easier to just sit and do the things that are familiar. But that soon leaves your spirit dry and that is what I am experiencing.But a conversation with a friend tonight has reignited the flame of hope – that God would have a plan for my life that would give me a future and a hope, not just an endless flow of paperwork. So, I’m taking the first step this next week and I’m going to contact the ranch. I’m sure God has an adventure in store (no matter where he brings me), so it will be interesting to see what the future holds.
Every day was pretty much the same for Ordinary. In the mornings he got up and went to his Usual Job. After work, he ate almost the same dinner he’d eaten the evening before. Then he sat in his recliner and watched the box that mesmerized most Nobodies on most nights. Sometimes, Best Friend came over to join Ordinary in front of the box. Sometimes, Ordinary went to his Parents’ and they watched together.
For the most part, not much happened in Familiar that hadn’t happened before. Ordinary thought he was content. He found the routine reliable. He blended in with the crowd. And mostly, he wanted only what he had.
Until the day Ordinary noticed a small, nagging feeling that something big was missing from his life. Or maybe the feeling was that he was missing from something big. He wasn’t sure.
The little feeling grew. And even though Nobodies in Familiar didn’t generally expect the unexpected, Ordinary began to wish for it.
~Bruce Wilkinson, The Dream Giver
As I watch the season change outside, the leaves turning brilliant shades of autumn, the temperature cooling off, and the rain settling into a daily pattern, my life anticipates change as well. This time of year is my favorite, which seems kind of odd for me. For the most part, I resist change. My parents still bring up when I was about 4 and they were trading in their old clunker of a car for a newer model and all I could do was cry and sob out that I didn’t want a new car – I liked the one we had. Even if it broke down on the on every trip at the farthest point. But it was familiar to me and I clung to it with dear life.
This year has been doused with change, and a lot of those changes have felt like small deaths to me. Through a series of events, I am no longer involved in the youth ministry where I poured out three years of my life; the college-aged internship program that I was on volunteer staff for (the ministry where my heart felt alive and where I felt like I was actually making a difference) has morphed into a slightly different program and I was not asked to be a part of it; all of my roommates moved away and I was financially forced to move back home. During each of these changes, I fought to hold on so tightly, but God had other plans. So, now I am doing what I said I would never do – working a full-time desk job, living with my parents, and not involved in ministry at all. God, you sure are funny.
But through it all, I’ve also realized that without death, new life cannot spring up. During this time of ‘nothingness’ I’ve begun to open my eyes to new possibilities that God may be presenting. One showed up about a month ago, while I was ordering a book off of Focus on the Family’s website for our Children’s Pastor. It is a horse ranch down in Oregon that takes in abused and neglected horses and abused and neglected kids and pairs them together as sort of a therapy for both of them. I’ve read some of the amazing stories that have come from this place and as soon as I heard about the ranch, it connected very deeply with me. I’ve put off contacting them for fear of the unknown. Sometimes it just seems so much easier to just sit and do the things that are familiar. But that soon leaves your spirit dry and that is what I am experiencing.But a conversation with a friend tonight has reignited the flame of hope – that God would have a plan for my life that would give me a future and a hope, not just an endless flow of paperwork. So, I’m taking the first step this next week and I’m going to contact the ranch. I’m sure God has an adventure in store (no matter where he brings me), so it will be interesting to see what the future holds.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Friday, October 08, 2004
Raindrops on Roses...
Here are a few of my favorite things...
- I came home from work yesterday to discover that the books that I had ordered online had arrived. I love to see that large brown truck rumble up the street and have Randy (I see him deliver packages almost everyday at work, we are now on a first name basis) jog up to present me with a parcel filled with goodies. Among the treasures was the Ragamuffin Gospel. I've read Manning's "The Signature of Jesus" and discovered another favorite author.
- I got to see my good friend, Carly, visiting from sunny California last night. The girl looked gorgeous, obviously California is loving her. I’ve been thinking of friendships lately, and will write more later on that.
- It’s a Friday, ‘nuff said. But an added bonus to my Fridays is that I get to enjoy the sweet song of music while I am working. My desk is located in the front area of our church office that I share with another admin assistant. It’s difficult for her to concentrate with music playing, so I reserve this for Fridays when she has the day off.
- I got a new computer at work. I had been struggling for about a month on my old one that was slowly dying. I’m not sure what I downloaded, but it was bad. Now I have a sweet new machine, complete with a DVD player – anyone up for a movie??
- A co-worker just walked up offering these delicious smelling scone cookie things. Pumpkin with chocolate drizzled on top. It’s like heaven to my nose. And a reminder that autumn is upon us – the smell of pumpkin always conjures up memories of holidays past.
- It is lightly misting outside. It’s been awhile since we’ve had rain, and I just love it. I guess you have to grow to love it when you live near Seattle, but I truly do. It reminds me of the old being washed away, and the new being brought to life.
Alright, enough of the daisies and roses already, I need to get back to work!
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Heads Will Roll
Tonight after small group for 40 Days of Purpose, David and Amanda (a great couple that Stacey and I met last week), invited us to the indoor soccer game that David and his friend, Jeremy, were playing. (Side note: Dave and Amanda are GREAT! How fun is it to meet people at a small group and actually spend time with them outside of that arena and find out what great people they are. That usually doesn’t happen for me, it’s more of the “well, see you next week” crowd.)
Anyways, I’m not much of a soccer player at all, but I can get very competitive. And I also get very competitive for the team I am rooting for. Granted I only knew the names of three guys on ‘our’ team (and had only met two of those), but once I get into the game a bit, I am a fierce cheerleader. :) Sometime during the second half, as things were getting rough, I told the girls that “heads are going to roll.” I’m not really sure why that popped into my brain, but I shouldn’t really be surprised. I always think of random sayings at weird moments. (It’s usually a combination of two cliches, and I always end up sounding like a fool.) But Stacey laughed at me for a couple minutes, and I couldn’t help but smile. I love to make people laugh, but it rarely happens. I’m just not the quick-on-her-feet type of gal.
I love laughter (and inside jokes) shared among friends, you can’t really ask for more. :)
Anyways, I’m not much of a soccer player at all, but I can get very competitive. And I also get very competitive for the team I am rooting for. Granted I only knew the names of three guys on ‘our’ team (and had only met two of those), but once I get into the game a bit, I am a fierce cheerleader. :) Sometime during the second half, as things were getting rough, I told the girls that “heads are going to roll.” I’m not really sure why that popped into my brain, but I shouldn’t really be surprised. I always think of random sayings at weird moments. (It’s usually a combination of two cliches, and I always end up sounding like a fool.) But Stacey laughed at me for a couple minutes, and I couldn’t help but smile. I love to make people laugh, but it rarely happens. I’m just not the quick-on-her-feet type of gal.
I love laughter (and inside jokes) shared among friends, you can’t really ask for more. :)
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
I was missing my house today.
For the past two years I have lived in this old remodeled barn, complete with grain silo in the back. It has been a wonderful haven that I enjoyed with three great roommates, who added so much laughter, wisdom, and experience to my life. Through many circumstances, they all had to move out, and thus forced me to move back with my parents, as I couldn't afford living at 'the barn', as we dubbed it. I live in a pretty small town (not a college town where there are always girls looking for a place to stay), so there wasn't an overabundance of roommates available.
The week that I was preparing to move out, I would cry at the drop of a hat. I was so anxious about this upcoming change in my life, that everything seemed slightly out of control. Well, at least out of my control, which wasn't an easy thing for me.
It's only been just over a week that I have been back at my parents, and although there are things that will take some adjusting to (one bathroom for four of us, a teenage brother who eats everything in sight, including any leftovers that might even have my name on them in the fridge, etc.), God has proven once again that He is faithful to provide for me. Things could be much worse. I have a sturdy roof over my head, plenty of food to eat (even if it isn't food that I had been saving), heat as we are approaching the cold season, and people who genuinely care about me.
Through this I am learning how to lean even more fully on Christ for the plan that He has for me. I can't see the ending yet, let alone the next chapter, but I am holding onto the fact that there will be a new chapter, and it will beyond what I could plan. My God is so faithful, so creative, and I am so thankful.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Only 81 Shopping Days Left...
I know it seems crazy to be thinking about Christmas already (especially with this Indian summer weather we have been having here in the Northwest), but it’s been rolling around in my brain for a few weeks now.
I am helping the music department of my church put on a Holiday Dessert Theater and preparations are well underway. We held drama and solo auditions yesterday and I was a part of the selection process. It’s been some time since I’ve been involved in drama and I’ve really missed it, so this is fun for me.
We had some really talented people audition, so it wasn’t hard to fill most of the spots. But there were a few that we were missing. I’m not sure exactly how this happened, but I am now singing a solo during one of the scenes (part of I Am by Nicole Nordeman).
I enjoy singing in my car (I’m sure I bring plenty of entertainment to my fellow drivers – this crazy girl singing her heart out), but put me on stage and I kind of freak out. I have no problem performing a drama or monologue, but make me sing and it becomes so much more vulnerable.
It’s funny how God likes to stretch me whenever He has the opportunity. And as much as it makes me nervous, it's also kind of exciting at the same time. It's great to be part of a production like this. So, now I shall be bring even more entertainment to those on the road with me - I've got a song I've got to perfect.
I am helping the music department of my church put on a Holiday Dessert Theater and preparations are well underway. We held drama and solo auditions yesterday and I was a part of the selection process. It’s been some time since I’ve been involved in drama and I’ve really missed it, so this is fun for me.
We had some really talented people audition, so it wasn’t hard to fill most of the spots. But there were a few that we were missing. I’m not sure exactly how this happened, but I am now singing a solo during one of the scenes (part of I Am by Nicole Nordeman).
I enjoy singing in my car (I’m sure I bring plenty of entertainment to my fellow drivers – this crazy girl singing her heart out), but put me on stage and I kind of freak out. I have no problem performing a drama or monologue, but make me sing and it becomes so much more vulnerable.
It’s funny how God likes to stretch me whenever He has the opportunity. And as much as it makes me nervous, it's also kind of exciting at the same time. It's great to be part of a production like this. So, now I shall be bring even more entertainment to those on the road with me - I've got a song I've got to perfect.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Sucked In...
After reading and commenting for the last couple months on Stacey's blog and many others, she has finally sucked me in - so, here's my own. I'm not much of a writer or journalist, so it shall be interesting to see what comes of this venture. (I can already feel myself going into writer's mode, though.) This will probably be good for me - my job doesn't require me to think in this kind of capacity (I either have to be very detail oriented, or be very creative for graphic design), so it will be good to get back into writing. After being out of school for awhile, it kind of slips away.
So, I welcome myself to the blogging world! :)
So, I welcome myself to the blogging world! :)
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