In case I haven’t shared about ‘the ranch’ – it’s a place down in Bend, Oregon, that I heard about around a month ago. The place (www.crystalpeaksyouthranch.org) takes in abused and neglected horses and kids and pairs them together for a sort of therapy and healing. The director of the ranch, Kim Meeder, has found that many of these horses and kids have had similar hurts in life and it’s amazing to see how they help each other overcome their fears and damage. Kim has written a book with many different testimonies of the ranch (Hope Rising published by Multnomah), and I was close to tears at the end of each short story. I’m not much of a crier (Stacey can attest to this), but this place grabbed a hold of my heart and wouldn’t let go.
Part of the reason why it resounded so deeply with me is because of my own teenage years. When I was about 14, my mother was diagnosed with bi-polar depression. The year and a half that followed was just short of hell. I didn’t have a mom all of a sudden, and I had to become ‘mom’ to my 8 year old brother. My mom would sleep for days on end; she rarely came out of her bedroom. Occasionally she would be up all night, and the next day she would be on this ‘high’ – it was like life was normal again, but I never knew when it would crash back down. I was trying to present to the world this happy face, that everything was fine (one neighbor was trying to have CPS take my brother and I away), and I learned how to hide pretty well.
During this time, I worked at a horse farm, spending every Saturday for three years mucking out stalls, grooming, feeding, and riding horses, and helping the younger girls that were in my care. I had been in love with horses ever since I was young, so this was a dream come true for me. It was also a place of escape for me. Here was a refuge that I could go and be loved on by these gentle giants and forget the pain and confusion at home.
When I was 16, my mom was completely healed from depression, all through the power of prayer. She now is able to use that time in her life as a testimony and a ministry to others who are going through similar things. She is such an amazing example to me and is one of my hero’s.
It wasn’t until recently when I was sharing with a friend about this newly discovered ranch that I realized why I was so excited about it. I hadn’t thought of that past time in my life in a while (it’s not something I think about much. Yes, it partly shaped who I am today, but God has healed my hurts from that time and has truly restored the damaged relationship I had with my mom), and it was like a puzzle starting to take shape. It confirmed even more that everything in my life has a reason and God is able to work it all for good. I realized I connected so deeply with the mission that they have there because I was one of those kids before.
So, I’m not really sure where this will all lead, but I’ve made that first step (which is a big thing for me), and I’m counting on God to lead me down the path He has for me.
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